I didn’t select the header pic because I give a rat’s ass about Ariana Grande‘s tired lolita act with the thigh high boots and kitten ears. I’m very close to being in love with her backup dancer. Totally feelin’ the Frankenberry/Freddie Prinze Jr. vibe even though he looks like he’s about to blow chunks on the dance floor of a college town bar after a night of tequila shots and boilermakers following a bad breakup.
Back to Ariana, friends of Big Sean told TMZ he was the one who ended their eight month relationship after deciding she was too immature for him. They cite the pics that surfaced of Justin Bieber doing the Olan Mills prom pose onstage with Ariana as the final straw. The estranged couple had left the door open for a reconciliation, but Sean believes she orchestrated the whole thing to make him jealous.
This entire thing is already an eye-rollingly stupid cesspool of who gives a fuck, but there’s more. Ariana reportedly demanded Sean spend tens of thousands of dollars on a private jet to come visit her and, as someone who grew up poor, Sean saw Ariana’s lavish spending as another indication of her childish ways. She would also sit on her ass and demand he fly commercial to visit her and rarely reciprocated.
I rarely get to travel without kids, so I’d be down to hop a plane a time or two in order to deliver my goods and services to my significant other. Nobody is begging to go to the bathroom as the aircraft ascends, threatening to pee on the seat if they don’t get to go RIGHT NOW, MOM. I can read a book in peace. Get a little Asian fusion noodle bowl action for breakfast without someone bitching that it looks like they’re eating a plate of worms. But that shit would get old fast if I was the only one making a damn effort. The tenth time through security where I discover too late I didn’t shave my pits and have to put my arms up in the full body scanner while wearing a tank top and I’d be like, “Nah, I’m good.”