david bowie in lord of the rings
Brian Duffy photograph of David Bowie for the Aladdin Sane album cover, 1973.

His character in the Lord of the Rings films wasn’t related to Frodo, but if real-life Dominic Monaghan was a hobbit, he’d be Douchebro Baggins based on the text messages he sent a woman that rated headlines a few years ago. Since then, my brain has peaced him the fuck out of my conscious thought, but thanks to a new interview with Huffington Post, Dominic is slightly redeeming himself by reminding everyone David Bowie wanted to be Lord Elrond in the LotR films while talking about his own audition experience.

“I was at the Hubbard’s, which is a pretty notorious casting agency office in London, doing an audition for ‘Lord of the Rings,’ and when it ended I went over and talked to John Hubbard, who was running the audition, and he said, ‘Hey, it went really well. You should wait around for 5 or 10 mins. We’ll give you some feedback,” He continued, “I thought, ‘Oh, OK, cool, and I sat in the reception office. As I was reading a magazine waiting, David Bowie came in and signed his little list and went in. And I’m assuming he read for Gandalf. I can’t think of anything else he would’ve read for. He may have read for something else, but I’m a huge David Bowie fan, and I was lucky enough to know his son now so just seeing him in person was pretty special to me.”

I’m going to need a minute alone with my revived boner to handle the thought of Bowie as Elrond now that it’s come up again. Not that I don’t love Hugo Weaving, but I haven’t experienced this much wood over LotR since before Peter Jackson lost the chunk, made those horrid Hobbit films and turned Legolas into one of those assholes who takes over a playground to do parkour in a desperate attempt to land some single mom pussy.