Looking at Joan Rivers‘s face so early on a Monday morning before an acceptable amount of coffee is giving me the damn willies. The sad thing is, it wouldn’t be much better on more caffeine. I’m afraid it would turn into one of those psychedelic musical numbers that Disney used to put in their movies like that pink elephant shit in Dumbo. One minute you’re in bliss, the next you’re on the floor in the fetal position wondering if it’s possible to trip balls through a screen.
Clearly, I’ve either thought about this too much or not enough and forgot what the hell I was supposed to be writing about in the first place. Oh, yeah! Kristen Stewart.
Joan wrote a book called “Diary of a Mad Diva” and in it, she flat out says Kristen is a steaming mess of shit and only got to where she is by doing the down and dirty with directors.
Joan writes in her new book — “Diary of a Mad Diva” — “Many stars only do one thing well. Of course, the best one-trick-pony is Kristen Stewart, who got a whole career by being able to juggle a director’s balls.”
Now here’s the thing. Although the book is satire, the statement is written as truth, especially with the backdrop of Kristen’s very public, self-inflicted wound over her relationship with her married director, Rupert Sanders.
Joan says Kristen’s attorneys jumped on her ass, threatening to sue, but that tough old bird didn’t back down. Good for her! While the Rupert Sanders thing did make the ball juggling joke an easy one, Kristen’s parents are both in the business, so we have good, old fashioned nepotism to thank for her bevy of Oscar-worthy facial expressions, as shown below.
Don't have THS bookmarked like it's the 90's and you're bumpin' AOL dial-up? Follow us on Facebook and Twitter so you don't miss any high-quality posts steeped in sarcasm and the f-word.