Broke bitch Justin Bieber fans who aren’t able to talk their moms into a 9,900% raise in their allowance this week (or have to choose between seeing their idol or doing extravagant shit such as eating) are fighting back against what they feel are outrageous ticket prices for Justin’s upcoming Purpose World Tour. Using the hashtag #justiceforbrokeliebers, angry fans who can’t afford to spend $2,000 for meet and greet tickets are screaming into the abyss known as the Internet to get their point across.
According to Gossip Cop, tweets ranged from snarky:
“i want a dinner, a proposal, and a lap dance after that for 2000$.”
To sob story:
“I’m really mad at Justin and his whole crew. I’m a Belieber since 2009 and I never met or saw him. That’s not bc I don’t want to see him or something. Justin is my idol he’s my life and I’m here since the beginning. But I don’t have money. I literally don’t have money. My parents are broke and sometimes we don’t have food to eat because we’re broke. After the My World Tour and Believe Tour I cried everyday bc I didn’t [have the chance] to meet Justin. Now he’s gonna have the Purpose Tour and I’m so happy because my parents give me money for the Purpose Tour (first I said no bc I know my parents don’t have money for a concert but my dad told me: Go to Justin I want to see you happy and Justin is a good kid and makes you happy. He said I’m gonna work 2 jobs if I found a job to get the money back I gave you) so I cried and I feel happy for the first time in my life. I thought I’m gonna buy a M&G tickets but the M&G tickets are 2K!!! The tickets are more expensive than my whole life. Justin think about the poor Beliebers like me. We don’t have money like you have. So 2K is insane. I’m crying… I hate my life…”
Other fans are mad at Justin for referring to his album as “our album” and his tour as “our tour” but allowing the “me” part of “us” get even richer and the “you” part cheering him on from seventeen miles away in the cheap seats or watching bunk-assed, shaky Instagram video uploads until his people pull a Janet and yank that shit down. No freeloading Beliebers allowed!
My favorite tweet on the subject walks the line between fucking hilarious and sweet Jesus, don’t give them any ideas.
If you’re super into The Biebs or want to stick it to The Man on Monday and waste a significant amount of your afternoon dicking around, you can find all 14 videos he dropped Beyonce-style over the weekend here.
Three weeks ago, Adele dropped her single “Hello” from wherever her ass and how the hell does she wipe? manicure have been for the last few years. Love it or hate it, the video has racked up 381 million views, caused at least as many wine-infused crying jags in bathtubs, brought back enthusiasm for sepia filters and is responsible for countless jammed fingers from radio listeners who are over that shit getting a little enthusiastic trying to change the channel during their commute while screaming, “YOU DID NOT HAVE ME AT HELLO, BITCH!”
It will be interesting to see if her next single off the new album 25 does as well. 60 Minutes Australia released a promo of their upcoming interview with her and a sneak peek of the latest single “When We Were Young.” The singing starts around the 1:26 mark, but start a little earlier if you like hearing someone who can sing like a thousand angels shit music down their throats bust out with indelicate snort laughs. SWOON.
A federal judge has dismissed a copyright infringement lawsuit filed by a songwriter who claims Taylor Swift ganked his song “Haters Gonna Hate” when she wrote “Shake It Off” by using Tay-Tay’s own lyrics.
“At present, the Court is not saying that Braham can never, ever, ever get his case back in court. But for now, we have got problems, and the Court is not sure Braham can solve them”
She goes on, saying the lawsuit “has a blank space — one that requires Braham to do more than write his name.”
But Judge Standish isn’t done, saying the lawsuit is fundamentally deficient and “Band-Aids will not fix the bullet holes in the case.”
And of course, she ends by ruling, “At least for the moment, Defendants have shaken off this lawsuit.”
I’m pretty sure I hate everything about this, but someone out there might get the giddy fangirl feels and think it’s cute. Now if she had used Katy Perry lyrics, keeping that feud alive and well in federal court? That I could get behind because I’m a bitch like that. It’d be way more fun than watching a federal judge fangirl out in court documents and maybe score an invite to one of Taylor’s Pajamas and Pinterest sleepovers.
What’s a pissant little shit with almost no redeeming qualities going to do after a few weeks of bad PR following an album promotion trip during which he walked out of an interview and canceled a show after a single song over a couple of rowdy fans? If you’re Justin Bieber, it means running right to the upper echelon of celeb-friendly talk shows, laying your head on Ellen DeGeneres‘ sports bra-clad bosom and announcing a grueling 58-city tour whose start date eludes your dumb ass.
“I’m actually going on tour!” Justin said when asked about his big news. Unfortunately, he could not remember details about when the tour will start.
“This was the only thing I had to remember, and I don’t remember it,” Justin said. “You can go to my website. What am I doing? I’m here to promote an album and a tour.”
Nobody expects him to know the entire tour schedule inside out and a Shia LaBeouf brand of backwards. But how does someone go on a talk show to announce they are going on tour after a disastrous album promotion and forget a minor detail LIKE WHEN THE STUPID THING IS GOING TO HAPPEN??
It’s March 9 in Seattle, by the way.
I almost feel sorry for anyone in the U.S. and Canada who gambles with this little fart and loses by paying for tour tickets since he’s a liability and too much of a brat to not work against his own interests. I’ll keep the fingers on one hand crossed the powers that be took Justin’s napping and snack schedule into consideration to cut down on his bitchfit tantrums because he’s hungry or tired. Actually fulfilling your business obligations is hard, y’all. The other hand is too busy flipping the bird to the fools still willing to give this guy their money.
24 seconds. That’s all it took of watching Adele singing “Hello” live for me to go from shrugging indifference over it to yelling, “YAAASSSSSS, BITCH, FUCK IT UP!” as I fold laundry. She taped a BBC special and performed the new song which, to date, has more than 253,000,000 views on her VEVO channel. The video still doesn’t do anything for me with that pre-Oz Kansas sepia filter shit going on, but when it comes to the song itself, I don’t know what the disconnect was before, but Adele has my firmly married ass wanting to go through a horrendous breakup by flip phone.
Preferably with a nameless, faceless man whose beard and dick are laid for the gods just so I can have someone to drink wine and cry over in the bathtub with this shit on repeat.
Speaking of wine, there was also a Q & A portion and Adele discussed drunk tweeting. Which, if you haven’t done it, is fabulous. As is drunk blogging, aside from that time I busted out the Star Wars kids’ cup of breakfast wine and had to take the rest of the morning off. Now, she says her tweets are still her own, but they go through a checks and balances system that sounds more effective than the branches of the ‘MURICAN government before they actually get posted.