I’m feeling 100% punched in the junk by the relentless deluge of depressing news this week, so I want to end things on a lighter note. And by that, I mean a shallow note and by THAT, I mean Kim Zolciak because you could squeeze an eyedropper of water into the Grand Canyon and the resulting miniscule puddle would be deeper than her.
In a series of two photos taken by her 18-year-daughter, Kim brought her A+ quench my thirst with your compliments game to Instagram for the 49873582309th time. In the first, her husband Kroy Biermann is getting handsy with Kim’s bikini top. You know–because it’s super hot to have your man get up close and personal with your lung bumpers while your kid snaps pics.
In the other shot, Kroy models a sweet pair of beach bunny man panties.
The photo cuts off at a less than flattering spot for him. You’d think the Photoshop master Kim keeps on call 24/7 who nipped the fuck out of her waist would have plumped up his bulge situation a little. Anything that would distract me from thinking he looks like Cupid grew up, came into hard times, got caught selling drugs, spent a few years in the clink, decided to re-enter society stripping at a gay bar called The White Swallow, and claims he’s straight but gays for pay.